What Happened to My Bonus?

X = Bonus Money

Tax = 45% * X

Z = X - Tax

Z = Net Bonus

Y= 401K Deposit + Roth IRA 2007 Deposit + Roth IRA 2008 Deposit + 1 Vacation + Christmas Presents

Z - Y = 0

0 = Nothing

Nothing = No shoes, no purses, no clothes, no Target trips, no furniture, no new cell phone and no Veronica Mars DVD set.

X = :(

Where have all the Boys Gone?

All About the Groom

Questions to the Groom < 10 words

Questions to the Groom = 1 0r 0 (Yes or No or True or False)

Chances that the Bride understands the above concepts = 100%

Chances that the Bride applies this understanding to her questioning strategy = 0

100% = 0% only in a Woman's brain

How NOT to Plan a Wedding 2

Number of People Involved in Planning (34) > Number of People Getting Married (2)
(unless I join a Polygamous sect)

Entire Budget < the Cost of Just the Food

How to NOT Plan a Wedding

The Cycle That Never Ends

Wedding Planning + Bride = Crying
Crying + Groom = Frustration
Frustration = No Wedding Planning
No Wedding Planning = No Wedding
No Wedding = No Marriage
No Marriage = Status Quo
Status Quo + Girlfriend = Groom Can't make a commitment
Groom Can't Make a Commitment = Nagging Until He Does Make a Committment
Nagging Until He Makes Commitment = Proposal
Proposal = Wedding Planning
Wedding Planning + Bride = Crying

Explanation for No New Posts

Work E-mails > Time Available During the Day
Work E-mails > Time Available During the Night
Work E-mails = Annie's Grandkids will be doing her Work E-mail.

Furniture

Me + Hammer + Ikea instructions ≠ Bookshelf

Sunday Morning in Coolidge Corner

Grew up in the 60s's + MD in Anesthesia = Peace flag waving Hippies in Brookline today

Annie sells Developmental textbooks

If standardized test scores are low, then Annie eats another day.

Boston Drivers = Accidents

1 asshole * shaves 5 seconds off his commute < 5,294 other drivers * sitting 5000 seconds in traffic because of the asshole

Found at Hynes T Station

Starving artist + iphone = Rich Daddy

There's no Math in Here, except the math that I know!

LA - Tan = NYC

Hating People + Love of Gambling = Wedding in Vegas

Degenerate + Craps = No Diapers

Liberal Arts Degree + Ideals = Defaulted Student Loans